2009 DyaksDamus

A very happy New Year Greetings 2009 to you all. The Year Of Ox it is with the hardwork by the Ox will be disrupted by the Rats goons and minions. Right, I’ll dedicate this page (kindly add yours too) for all kinds of Dayak wish-list, propechies, resolutions etc everything we possibly need and ponder for what the year 2009 might offer to us.

 

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 2010!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 2010!

Looking at how close the race for UK’s No.1 2009 Christmas song (big thanks to this Facebook iniative) it’s gonna be one of the greatest hatchet job of all time. Finally people would get a way to give Simon Cowell a big fuck to all this reality show and force-fed in the public their manufactured pop music lunacies. Poster-boy pop music cutie muppets. Fuck that. Getting a song from (RATM) Rage Against The Machine – Killing In The Name as No.1 Christmas song surely a big fuck no to Simon Cowell’s X-Factor idol Joe McElderry (The Climb) and their looney music empire.

 

Meet The (Dayak) Natives

Meet The Natives

 

 For years, anthropologists have travelled to the South Pacific to live with local tribespeople and observe their traditional ways of life.

Meet the Natives follows two groups of men from the South Pacific island of Tanna – one venturing to the UK and the other travelling to the U.S. – to observe the natives of these exotic lands. From cattle roundups and snowball fights in Montana, to bars with drag queens in Manchester, and traditional fox hunting and a meeting with England’s Prince Philip, these men experience some of the best – and most unusual – activities that each country has to offer. They provide a unique spin on life in the UK and America, filtering what they see through their own experiences and offering their perspective on homelessness, traditional gender roles, livestock artificial insemination, and more.

There’s always something romantic about a Dayak experiencing a completely new thing, new environment and so on as truly some (mis)adventure of culture shocks. That is normally a case of rural-urban migration among the Dayak youths seeking employment or simply thrown yourself to the unchartered territory hoping to realise your Dayak Dream. Well some Dayak made it (like the 40,000 Dayaks in Johor, the ‘Singapore mainland’), able to settle down, even bring fellow siblings or friends later on while some simply can’t manage their hard-earned money to usual booze and decadence lifestyle.

Watching Meet The Natives in NatGeo channel (check your local Astro listings) reminds me just how awkward for any Dayak being a first-timer to move out from the typical slumps of hopeless Dayak village. Where to buy air ticket, enough money to rent a shack flat in one of DBKL ubitiqous human slime nest, where to find the cheapest nasi campur, would Dayak in KL treated just like another Myanmar slave…those are the question linger the most. To the adventurous Dayak, simply fend yourself alone try to survive would be stupid act or just silly fun. But for the cautious and follow the ‘resettled’ Dayaks there, consider yourself a plain lucky Dayak.

 

Battle Of The GOONS!

Battle Of The GOONS!

Welcome to our new show Battle Of The GOONS!, ladies and gentlemen! Nice to see you guys here! It’s a game show to test the skill and brains of our goons. In this first and numero uno episode, please welcome the three lucky hopefuls for the title of the Top Goon. On the left is Mr. Alfred Kepayang, our minister of Buah Kepayang plantation and industrial development. Next is Mr. Lee Han Joke, our rural Dayak arts & comedians’ affairs minister and finally Mr. Willy Ol’ Badak, our minister of MRP showtime resources. Gentlemen, please take your place.

Dyaks: Our first, inaugural question. Complete this line, “If you wear a cawat, then—-?”

(Buzzer) Alfred Kepayang: Then you must not wear pants anymore.
Dyaks: That’s incorrect sir.
(Buzzer) Lee Han Joke: Then you must vote for BN lah!
Dyaks: Correct sir!!
Willy Ol’ Badak: Damn I knew it!
Dyaks: Better fast Willy!

 

The Dayak Nobel Prize

Hello again folks. Probably by now most of you Dayaks already heard the news of President Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize. Congratulations, I mean to the beer! Quite a spoof eh? Settle some racist vibes of black professor and whitey cop for a good cold beer at White House, next thing you invite Glen Campbell to sing Southern Night and Dream dream,dream,dream…later on called Kanye West some MTV jackass (the first black jackass?), keep on topping up the beer till the next morning when Joe Biden give a call “It’s from Sweden, you just win a Nobel Peace Prize”. Obama: “Send that jackass West to pick it up, Sweden haven’t seen a black jackass for a long time since Abba and Dolph Lundgren coming to USA!”

How timely isn’t it? When Obama trying very hard to get the healthcare bill get through against the Republicans and their army of greedy insurance goons, winning Nobel Peace Prize out of nothing simply shocking. First black president, probably first president to win some Nobel prize within short office period and also the first president to quickly caught by Twitter saying the word ‘jackass’. But killing the greedy US insurance industry that crippling own American citizens for so long would fulfill Michael Moore prophecy and come out with new movie Sicko 2. Would Americans finally get their ‘peace’ deal on healthcare? Never been better when the greedy insurance jackass got kick out for sure!

But again, really how deserving it is to hand Nobel Peace Prize to Obama in such a relatively beer-party period? It’s not that Obama successfully extract both Kim Jong Ill and Mahmud Ahmednijad using secret alien UFO spacecraft and landed them at Holland’s The Hague world tribunal for war against humanity, silly hairwigs and lunatic mullahism thus prevent the possible crazy nuclear programmes, one for fun dictatorship and the other one for the holy beard. Fact is, it’s that easy to win Nobel prize…such a power of the beer.

 

Bakun Dam-ned: Still A Correct Thing To Do?

We are damned!     

Why would someone want to generate electricity through a giant hydroelectric plant in an area that does not demand that massive supply? Answer me that question and you can stop reading.

By Hakim Joe, Saturday, 03 October 2009, Malaysia Today

Why would someone harness the power of moving liquid and transform it into a clean and usable energy? The answer is of course for the electricity that is utilized to operate the multitude of electrical and electronic devices that we have. Simple answer.

Now comes the harder question. Why would someone want to generate electricity through a giant hydroelectric plant in an area that does not demand that massive supply? Answer me that question and you can stop reading.

The Bakun Hydroelectric Plant (BHP) is located on the wrong side of the divide. The requirement for more energy emanates from the power-hungry residents of West Malaysia where flashing neon lights and air-conditioned shopping centres swallow them up by the megawatts, and not the East Malaysians where everything is rather subdued. How much electricity does one require to light up a longhouse anyway? (That was meant to be a joke…continue to vote BN and they will make certain that you people remain in longhouses watching Charlie Chaplin reruns on black and white television sets without a remote control in a congested room full of houseflies.)

 

Vision 2020 – The Road To Zimbabwe

When Mahapokrit unveiled the illusory grand vision in 1990 as Vision 2020, it was full of hope and what a great future for Malaysia well at least that’s what media used to tell us back then. Vision 2020 or Wawasan 2020 according to Mahapokrit was simply a roadmap to a developed Malaysia by 2020. A modern Malaysia with at least 70 million population prescribed by Mahapokrit as ideal population in terms of sustainability and national security purposes.

Or you still buy that delusion now. Almost 20 years and some RM1 trillion of Petronas money later when we supposed to be on track toward Vision 2020, it looks like the same prick that haunted Malaysia all over again and exactly what Mahapokrit wrote almost 50 years ago in Malay Dilemma – the problem of changing Malay mindset from always feeling insecure about anything (to the extent of chronic inferiority complex) to the point of everything that caused Malay’s insecurity is easily put to blame squarely to the Chinese and other non-Malays like Indians as well that having set firm footing particularly in economics dominance.

It’s always about the cycle of hate and racism. Mahapokrit thought 1990 was the best year to launched something feel-good about Malaysia’s future but how to feel good about it when Mahapokrit himself admitted that he failed to change the Malay for the better. That is what happen when you always think this God damn land only belong to one particular race. Using social re-engineering crap like NEP and Bumiputra special rights will never work just to ensure (and hopefully) the Malays will change and grab the opportunity to uplift themselves. Yes hope for the best.

 

Sabah’s Untold History

Sabah’s Untold History

The Palace Coup (Part 1)
By Hakim Joe, Monday, 31 August 2009, Malaysia Today

Many Malaysians may not know this but the Perak Fiasco this year is not the second constitutional crisis that has rocked Malaysia (after the UMNO crisis). In fact, UMNO’s deregistration as an association by the Registrar of Societies in 1987 was also not Malaysia’s first constitutional crisis but the second.

The dubious award of Malaysia’s first ever constitutional crisis was bestowed on the Sabahan State Government in 1985 when the Berjaya-appointee Sabahan Governor, Tun Haji Mohd Adnan Robert, despite stern objections from his advisors including the Sabah State Attorney Datuk Nicholas Fung and Sabah High Court judge, Justice Datuk Charles Ho, had decided to swear-in a minority coalition party leader as the Chief Minister of Sabah, a coalition that had won less state seats (22 seats combined) in the just completed State Elections than the victor (26 seats), an action that contravened the State Constitution and the Federal Constitution of Malaysia.

So, what happened during the early dawn hours of 22 April 1985 that eventually propelled the State of Sabah into total chaos? An action by one single man in his capacity as the Governor? Or was he somehow “persuaded” (against all logical reasons) by Datuk Haji Yahya Lampong and the inaction of others present (except for Nicholas Fung and Charles Ho) to continue with the swearing-in ceremony? Before you continue reading, always keep this in mind. A Sultan or a State Governor can appoint a Menteri Besar or a Chief Minister but he cannot dismiss him after swearing him in. The appointed MB or CM can only be dismissed in the State Legislature by a vote of no-confidence, if he is convicted of a crime or if he dies in office.

Once again, let us start from the beginning.

 

Poisoned Fruits Of Merdeka: Incapacitate The Dayaks

While it’s almost meaningless to relate Merdeka Day to the Dayaks, it is rightly so. When some Dayak goons writing stuffs in local daily telling us to appreciate the fruits of merdeka, they are merely cheat themselves. Why appreciate when the fruit in fact is poisonous. From education, healthcare, infrastructure etc in such a pathetic state subject to delay politics it’s all simply the case of poisonous fruit of merdeka meant to deny the very rights of Dayak. Likewise the Dayak politics being offered and designed just to reduce the Dayak leaders at the lowest threat possible it is because the Dayak leader accepted and ‘eat’ the poisonous fruit of merdeka which of course can only incapacitate or ‘castrate’ them politically, as epitomised by J*bu to preach Buah Kepayang as the ultimate golden fruit to the Dayak farmers.

Throughout decades after joining Malaysia, Dayaks somehow are subjected to various forms of systematic incapacitation in almost every aspects but political incapacitation by far the most effective mode. Even development projects which is rightfully a basic human right for all that govt must deliver but being abused as delay tactic ploys, often referred as Politic of Development (or development politicised?), all of it not only serves Yang Dikasihi well but a great tool to keep any Dayak at bay all the time. Development in some sense, or some called it fruits of merdeka, turn out to be a deliberately poisoned fruit after all.

Take how Sarawak DUN structure works for instance. At any given time, Yang Dikasihi will not allow the Dayak YBs (PBB-SPDP-PRS-SUPP) hold more than one third of total DUN seats. A classic divide-and-rule ploy over the Dayaks. With PBB holding the lion share of half DUN seats, it is irrelevant whether SPDP-PRS merged or SUPP being wiped off by DAP as PBB alone can rule by simple majority.

 

Top 10 BN Excuses In Permatang Pasir Defeat

Top 10 BN Excuses In Permatang Pasir Defeat

10. Pakatan Penang declare public holiday on that voting day. Huh!
9. Having two wives shouldn’t be too secretive…Shhh!!!
8. In any swindle, make sure you pay your law firm partner-in-crime equally and in full.
7. Wind of change can move..er..to other opposite direction eh?
6. Why try to prove phantom voters when it’s all your own-planted goons before? (And such a bad joke for EC!)
5. Not enough Nuri helicopters being used and abused for campaign.
4. Should bring more instant noodle project$$$ then.
3. When PAS claimed it’s enough to win by 1-vote majority, so now it means multiply by – erm – 4000 times?
2. Ezam didn’t make much speech anymore…hmmm.
1. Probably Nik Aziz is right afterall…vote PAS and shall enter heaven, automatically!

But another one top BN excuse or bonus!
Bonus BN excuse: When Nik Aziz said “Pergi Jahanam Lah Umno!” so really, Umno is all but finished or Jahanam! Alamak!

Lesson for Umno: Never play a fool with Nik Aziz either using TV3’s biased newspin or asking national fatwa council to denounce Nik Aziz vote-for-heaven claim. It’s not gonna work except againts yourself only.

 

The (Dayak) Avatar: Re-Engineering Dayak DNA

Avatar

The Avatar movie might be just another sci-fi about humans trying to colonise another Earth-like aliens planet and suck-up all the natural resources (sounds like Dayak against BN eh??) but the struggle remains the same: change accordingly to survive. And change accordingly will require some seriously drastic measure regardless of short or long term measure, which is how about altering some DNA?

In the next 50 years or so the DNA manipulation could be so advanced and accesible that any imperfection of DNA can be altered. It’s the making of intelligent, custom-made humans. Next generation of Dayaks ought to be taller (minimum 6 footer), super IQ, multi-lingual, resistant to diseases, live longer up to 150 years and much more. The only thing missing is pregancy machine (for future lazy mums) but Dayak females can be sought to be voluntereed as surrogate mum and inpregnanted with these new super Dayak babies. Initial offspring would be 1,000 super Dayaks born and with special reproductive programme these 1000 super Dayak will spread their super genes into many other Dayak families with minimum 10 child per super Dayak couple.

You may ask why I’m talking about this Dayak DNA. It’s simple: Dayak is lacking intelligence to survive based on brief history of almost non-existence civilisation (compared to Indian, Chinese civilizations). No amount of education, NEP and those socio-economic breastfeeding can change Dayak mentality, attitude, brain and their future. All those external inputs do not work so the next challenge is alter the Dayak DNA to become more superior. Dayak however will need to wait 30-40 years for the current ignorant generation to be ‘replenished’ with the upcoming next generation of Dayaks so it can truly bring ‘Change’.