Life is beautiful isn’t it my fellow Dayaks? It is surreal, part virtual reality, part hallucinations but surely not always what it is seem to be. Almost everyday there’s endless news of fairy tales by leaders against the actual happening on the ground such as Mugabe’s denial of cholera crisis in Zimbabwe, Bernard Madoff keep insisting his New York investment company’s USD50billion scam isn’t just another Ponzi scheme, Pak Lah delays in asking assets declaration from ministers means more time for Sulaiman Taib Deputy Tourism Minister to hide his lootings but the world’s greatest fiction is yet to make its grand mark right here in our country, the BolehLand corridors fantasy. It’s even more fascinating that Patrick Lim quit the Equine group that saw its Penang corridor project being scrapped. As if as Pak Lah ordered Patrick Lim to jump out and run his ass off fast. The manner of how this whole corridor projects (including Sarawak’s SCORE) being deviced is exactly the same as the two recent so-called reforms (JAC-Judicial Ain’t Corrupt, MACC-M’sia’s Absolutely Corrupt Commission) by Pak Lah: superficial in nature.

In any form of propaganda, be it the communist giant billboard says ‘Kim Jong Il is ok, play his PS2 at home with Fidel Castro’ or Paris Hilton committed herself as ‘nun for life’, it’s all depend on the cosmetics. It doesn’t matter if coal is renewal energy or not as SCORE would assume that smoke from the coal-generated power plants can be converted, depolymerised, compressed, pressurised again into solid coal matter, much like a diamond making process. The most important matter is the cosmetic elements of the corridors to spoof us all. Yet recently just another spoof to ward off the recession fear is that SCORE would rescue those poor retrenched chaps immediately. Fine, it almost like mandating spaceship to be used as Kuching traffic jam solution except that there is no spaceship yet. Some of those retrenched are Dayaks but poor Dayaks are almost recession-proof so for those who ever lived a hard life for most of their life before, you would understand my words. There is nothing wrong with economic plans or propagandas but the best way to propagate it is good enough as another part of comprehensive economic plan or Rancangan Malaysia. Would you ready to go back to stone age again given the fact that the next recession will be the worst thing since the big meteor hit the Earth 65 million years ago? Then you really need a spaceship indeed, my Dayak folks.

That is why the elements of spoof, almost superficial in nature by far almost impossible to be left out as part of any propaganda. What would SCORE brings might be economics, business opportunities but let me tell you the other possibility: Buah Kepayang finally worth itself as the next golden fruit. It is synonymous with Dayak’s meagre lifestyle; it’s a simple food, no-brainer to prepare it, cheap and in abundance just like other type of fruits. J*bu may fancy it as possible large scale farming but what better way to elevate it by spoofing Buah Kepayang potentials in pararell to what SCORE spoofs awaits us. Here, the Politic Of Buah Kepayang will be in great benefit of doubt just like we Dayaks assume that there is no single crook-manship in the Church Of Salcra. Let us begin with the immediate influx of workers requirement for SCORE in which food sector will be obviously in high demand. Simple food means less time for preparation and consumption. Buah Kepayang delicacy is the perfect fit and assumes the workers will at least one third are locals, it poised to be a great demand for Buah Kepayang. Roll on J*bu, that’s all not inclusive of donkey meats as perfect Dayak happy meal for SCORE: simple, nutritious, low in fat and cholesterol content. Wrapped it with jungle prune leaves for extra fragrance and you’ll have our own version of sushi lunch box. Lovely.

Renewal energy policy will dictate the importance of using alternative form of fuels and what better deal than using palm oil mixture with diesel to greater promote the usage of biofuels. But palm oil main drawback is the shelf life and content settling/ hardening problem if stored for more than a year. No worry as Buah Kepayang will come to the rescue by acting as preservative agents for palm oil. Diesel biofuel with it will not require engine modifications as the preservative contents will keep the fuel warm so as to eliminate fuel choking during early morning engine starts. Sounds like a perfect match of palm oil and Buah Kepayang so Salcra will probably hit the new gold mine eh? Better rewrite the plantation agreements to at least 70 percent profit sharing to Dayak participants if Salcra finally adopt Buah Kepayang for grand scale farming and promoting a fairer, better and more meaningful wealth distribution.

What Bakun hydro projects really bring in long term other than surplus energy needs is rather chilling and most would deny it: Aids epidemic. Sadly my folks, those pimps business are left loose lurking around to feed the workers with their Aids-tainted flesh trading. No official statistics specifically refering this project but state health records will show you that infected Dayaks with Aids is a slowly growing trend including those from Belaga-Kapit area. Even the Penans got it so the study to extract cynide content from Buah Kepayang to be made as Aids vaccine should be fast forwarded by local health experts and authority. SCORE definately will add to this epidemic and if left unchecked, the situation can only getting worse. Therefore Buah Kepayang Aids vaccine probably the single greatest discovery in the world and the patent holder of the vaccine will be richer than God. Ok, just richer than Salcra if UNHCR decided to make it as cheap generic drug so you can only earn from patent royalty money. Sounds like spoof? Spot on Dayaks.

Right. Consider SCORE like one big gamble. If you think those number of engineers required, overall job opportunities can counter SCORE as investment(calculated risk), not a form of gamble(uncalculated risk) then just add the spoof factor or ‘entertainment’ factor. You see, any gamblers will set their limit when coming to a casino knowing that any amount of money made or loss within their limit is purely for entertainment rather than investment. Time factor ultimately will test your patience whether you are going for the broke. Govt propaganda like SCORE works in that manner with ‘limits’ set up according to the projected jobs opportunities to substantiate the worth of the investment. The only way SCORE turn itself into a big gamble when investors start to reconsider or review their initial investments and all those planned hyro dams will be at risk of producing excess power. At the end of the day, the energy and energy-intesive sectors will be the final end-product of SCORE and that is the actual jobs created and sustained in long term but should not ended like any other export-oriented business sector that is already in disadvantage on logistic costs therefore any single external adversity arise means business no longer profitable be it on break-even operation. Perhaps, the possible excess energy created by SCORE should allow Sarawak to make its energy tarif the lowest in Malaysia so as to turn Sarawak the most cost-efficient place to invest? Up to Yang Dikasihi to gamble with.

The Dyaks Blog Final Donkeys:

SCORE really need the potential like the Politic Of Buah Kepayang or the spoof factor to remain as effective propaganda. Create something out of almost nothing or a mixture of false hope. Not even fully started but already a big success even without immediate tangible results. Same goes to Buah Kepayang that could have many potentials but the spoof I made just to think the ‘what if’ scenario. For the time being, govt seriously need spoofs more than ever to mitigate all those unexpected events that could turn their investment into one big gamble. Denial mode is the best form of ‘entertainment’ and probably the best option now. Otherwise we all should admit that Buah Kepayang is just a no-frills fruit worth a pasar tani items. Good enough for daily Dayak traders/ ‘penjaja’ at council markets. Beyond that only J*bu can turn it as the next golden fruit much like Yang Dikasihi can turn SCORE as the next big thing even though both of them might not witness it 20-30 years from now.