Oil Palm Scam For Dummies

“In my opinion as an investor, it is frightening that Malaysiakini reports that there are many disgruntled natives over the recent Sime Darby-led JVC to develop 20,000 ha in Sarikei.” – Gan Tee Jin

Frightening eh, Gan Tee Jin?? Hahaha, sorry. Wait ’til you know the real goons behind Sarawak’s main authority on everything oil palm business: LCDA and SALCRA. So shall we?

LCDA – Let’s Chase Dayak Away
SALCRA – Such A Low, Crappy Returns Annually

Right, when you have been cleared two of biggest hurdles for any plantation projects in Sarawak, namely the Dayak landowners can be easily chased away, duped, cheated, abused of their own land rights and ownership plus the cost to acquire vast area of lands at relatively amost ZERO COST, you can start business anytime. When you can get such a CHEAP LAND and assistance from CROOKS, what else you need to scared? The initial cost of operation, land clearings, labour supply? Why worry if you can simply abide by the rules and terms set by the CROOKS that is open practice of CRONISM from appointing crony contractors to build the facilities, crony fertiliser seedling suppliers, crony Indon worker supplier agency, crony CPO mill factory operator, crony transporation company for CPO container, all of your profits virtually an ORGANISED MONEY LAUNDERING. So the business model must be on SALCRA basis that is low crappy returns to the landowners while the big fat lion share goes to the CRONIES. That is how oil palm business being run here, so bring the moneybags as you wish. This is a plantation casino where your odds on playing Russian roulette can be rest assured if you follow all the cronies’ instruction.

Ok what else you need to know…ah, land titles. Don’t worry if some Dayak minister claimed that Dayak landowners can finally get to know exactly the land size affected by the plantation project because that’s all the Dayak minister can do: pacify the Dayaks from the truth of the real evil plans. Here, delay tactics works at the best manner so the Dayaks will keep on waiting and delaying or at least all of your cronies can CASH OUT most of the swindled profits from cooked-up plantation accounts first leaving the low, crappy returns for the Dayak landowners to scramble with. Got it? All the big fat profits for the cronies first, not the Dayak landowners. Even some of them being appointed as director not much they can do really except enjoying the aircon in the meeting room, provided that keep any calculators or English-BM dictionaries away at all time. Never duplicate the agreement and all must be written in complex English.

So there you have it. Simple and not frightening at all. You just keep feeding the cronies free money while the Dayaks can be taken care off by their own Yes-Men Dayak leaders (that act as both guardian and swindler) so all the faults deemed to be by the ignorant unsuspecting Dayak landowners from the greedy Dayak leaders. LCDA and SALCRA just keept the tab moving. This is all pure gangland style business. You prey on your own neighbourhood. While we understand there aren’t enough cheap and easy land-grab left in Malaya except being far worse held by Umno goons, Sarawak would be your best option. Like the grass is greener on other side, way much safer and better than doing it in Indonesia forests where your profit margins would be recoup back just as long to repay carbon credit from planting oil palm over deforestation (around 150 years to repay the CO2 being made from forest clearing to plowing lands activities plus the capital recoup). Yes, in Indonesia the corruption is much worse so around 150 years maybe needed for your money to recoup while here just below 20 years depending how good you manage the cronism-propaganda-cheating cycle. Or you can leave it to the Dayak leaders to spin the propaganda while all the money siphoned out undetected.

Just to recap:
1. LCDA and SALCRA acronyms as your basic holy bible mantra: Always cheat the Dayaks.
2. Run it as purely on CRONISM basis from crony contractors to crony suppliers, and you’ll be safe.
3. It’s an ORGANISED MONEY LAUNDERING, from left to right pocket swindle.
4. Keep calculators and English-BM dictionary away from the Dayak landowners. Keep them in the dark basically on any agreements.
5. Never install any internet lines there away from the Dayak landwoners too. Too much enlightening will spoil your trick!

Got it? It’s simple and direct business model. The only question now is: just show your money to the Yang Dikasihi!